2003-12-13 - 9:50 p.m.

Wonderful

I don't know if I will be able to fully describe the wonderful feeling of happiness I am feeling right now.  But I will try.

First, at the beginning of the month my sister printed out a zodiac forecast for me. She got it from astrologyzone and it had a lot of good news about what a great month this would be and how a lot of really great career news would come my way.   Watch December 12, it said.  Pay special attention to December 12 for proof that you are going to finally be recognized as a great guy and a hard worker.  Great things will come on December 12!

Ok.  Well, a week ago I was bitter and sick and tired.  The president of the company had sent Kevin and me a snippy email about how we need to be at work on time and we were setting a bad example and it had better get fixed right away.

I was sort of surprised because I did not realize I was late.  I thought I was on time.  But, you see, Kevin was taking the day off. So when he did not show up on time I guess the president got mad.  Then it was past on time and he still was not there.  By 8:35 am I guess he was fuming mad so he fired off an insulting email.

I had been busy all morning and had been getting a shit load of work done (for a change).  I was so happy and productive.  When I got back to my desk in the afternoon I found the email I sat there staring at it.  I composed a reply that said, "You're right.  I quit." And considered sending it to him.  I would have talked to him in person about it but, thankfully, he had already left the office.  I showed the email to a couple of my coworkers and they just scratched their heads.

I decided not to quit and walk away that day because I knew at the Christmas party on Thursday I would most likely receive an envelope with a couple of hundred dollars in it.  For the rest of the day I just sat there and did as little work as possible.  Why was I being picked on for being late when I was not?

I decided to ignore it.  When Kevin got in the next week we talked about it.  He said he was just going to forget about until they give him "the talking to" that they normally give him once a year about being on time.  We talked about the fact that I had stayed and worked late every night and no one said a word about that.

Funny.

So I went to the Christmas party not feeling well.  I was overworked, worn out and getting a cold.   I was the last one to arrive.  The party was at a very nice place near the office.  We were served in a dining room.  I had filet mignon.  It was ok.  Upper class catered food.  It was fine.  We all got gifts. My gift from the president was a punching bag, you know, like the ones boxers use to work out.

People were talking to me and I could hardly pay attention.  I just wanted to go home and go to bed.

On Saturday I decided to just recuperate.  I did not leave the house.  I did not get dressed.  I just sat around and ate and watched tv.  It was great.  On Sunday I just went out for a little while.  I ate some lunch and came back home to rest and relax.  When Monday came along I felt great.  I had to work late again, but it was ok.

On Tuesday I was starting to get behind again, but my energy level was good and I was making some progress.   I had scheduled a meeting the president of the company on Friday (December 12).  I was to write up a performance review of myself and state everything I had done for the past 6 months.  I was not looking forward to this.  I did not want to do it.  I resented having to review myself.  Why can't my boss do it?  Because he has no idea what it is I do, that's why.

So I kept putting it off.  I asked my coworkers if they had done theirs.  One of the new guys, Keith, said he was going to cut and paste some of his monthly review stuff and not really worry about it.  Keith is great.  He is one of the first Pisces I have worked with that I really get along with.  I am also a Pisces and have often wondered why all the other Pisces I have known were quite different from me.  Keith, however, is the kind of guy who can finish my sentences for me and speak volumes with just one word.

He convinced me to stop worrying about it.  Keith's basic philosophy is "Fuck it. I'm not going to worry about it."  Of course, I have watched him dwell on an off hand remark in an attempt to make sense of it.  We are a lot alike.

All week long the president of the company was out of town.  All week long I started to feel better and better.  By Thursday night I was experiencing a weird feeling of happiness.  I could not figure out why.  Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I would be getting a year end bonus.  This would be a real bonus, not the $250 in cash I got at the Christmas party.  Then I would start to feel angry because the last bonus I got six months ago was only about $500 and it was based on I don't know what. The president of the company was very vague about what I was eligible for and what percentage I could earn.

On Friday morning traffic was light and I got to the office a little early.  I noticed the president's office door was closed.  I chatted with Keith for a few minutes and then Tommy came into our office and said that we needed to go to the conference room right away.  The other new guy, Wes, was pale and shaky.  My first thought was that we were about to be told that our company had been sold and I felt a little giddy.

But what I heard from Matthew, our financial comptroller, was that he had just fired the president of the company.  I almost laughed out loud.  What I said was, "Wow!"

The man who owns the company, Tommy's uncle, decided that the president of the company had not fulfilled his goals and was taking our company in a direction that was not happy with.  The rest of the day was amazing. The now ex-president  was packing up his belongings and before noon he was out of there.  That's fairly normal for him. Only this time he took all his stuff with him.

All day long all of us were smiling and laughing.  It was like a big weight had been lifted off of us.  The former president was a nice guy but he pissed everyone off and operated from some point of view that was contrary to happiness.

Our new company President is Matthew.  I really like him.  He is genuinely concerned about us and wants our company to be a place where we are all happy to be.  And, according to the survey and work my committee did last month, the rest of us agree.  The only thing holding us back was catering to the former president.

I have known Matthew for as long as I have been working there and trust him.  I don't feel guarded when I am around him.  I feel as though I can tell him something if it is bothering me without having to watch every word.   The problem before was that there was nothing you could do or say to the old president that did not result in more work or punishment.

So there it is. December 12 and for the first time in two years I am not looking for a new job.  I am actually happy with my job.  I think I can make an impact there now.  I am so glad I did not quit last week.  Or the week before. Or any of the other 25 times I came close during the past year.

So Matthew did my review.   We blew through it.  He knows how hard my job is because he used to be in charge of the department.   He actually appreciates what we do and does not have a hidden agenda that we can only guess at.  Amazing.

And my year end bonus will be a grand.  No fuss.  No badgering.  That is what I am entitled to so I get the whole thing.  I wonder if Matthew knows that just by doing that one thing he has made me want to work harder and do better.  I will be there early on Monday to get a head start on some work that I have let slip.  I want to do it now.

All of my previous reviews were just me trying to defend myself and prove that I did not waste a moment of time.  Six months ago I remember the review with the former president where we went around and around with the semantics of what I had written.  I had been put on the spot and I dug in my heels and would not give an inch.  At the end of it he told me I had earned 90% of what I was eligible for.  The number was completely made up.  He was just trying to save a few pennies by not giving them to me.

It left me feeling bitter and angry.  I made sure not to spend one extra moment at work when I did not have to.

I spoke with my former coworker Viarum today.  Viarum was fired by the former president a few months ago.  When I told him what happened on Friday he laughed and laughed.  It is karma.

But I had to leave early on Friday to drive down to Zilfore to pick up my nephew and drive him back to South Carolina.  I had promised to take him back and hoped I would be able to leave very early from work.  It takes about four hours to get to his hometown in South Carolina.   We stopped to eat dinner and drove leisurely.  I dropped him off and made my way back home.  I got back here at 3 in the morning.

I got up around 9 when the pager went off.  There were some calls I had to return and some work I could do from home.

I am so happy.  It is amazing.  I can't wait to see what happens next.

Jimmy
 

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