2003-09-09 - 9:54 p.m.

This Is What I Have Been Doing

Wow.  So much has happened since the last time I updated my diary.  I just have not had the time or the mental capacity to write lately.  I have missed writing, but on the other hand, I'm not going to sit up all night long writing down everything that has happened all day long.  Something had to give and it was this.

Hmmm.  Where to begin.

I went out with Christy (that's what I'll call her) and had a good time.  She invited me over and after work one night and even though I told her I had been working a lot and would not be much fun she insisted so I went over.  She fed me some pasta and we sat together on the couch and watched tv.  I moved her closer to me and put my arm around her.  It felt good to have her next to me.  She looked at me and we kissed.  And we kept kissing.  Her body language was not hard to understand.  I kissed her neck.  She kissed my neck.  I tasted her skin.  She tasted good.

Her hand on my back.  We moved around so that I was over her.  The heat from her body was inviting.  We were breathing heavily, both turned on.

We went to her bedroom and I undressed her.  Dear merciful God in heaven I love women.  We both started to get nervous but acted as though we were not.  I took off my clothes and we both laughed about how weird it is to get naked for the first time with someone else.  Into bed together.  She has a nice body.  I lingered over every part of her.  Touched every part of her.  She loved the attention.  She knew exactly what to do to me.

We had sex.  She thought we were through but then we had sex again.  And then once again.  She was starting to get concerned so I brought it to a conclusion.  This was all in the same night.

You see, that's the thing about having sex so infrequently, as I do.  When I get going I don't want to stop.  It is sort of like when a dam bursts.  If a little bit is good then a lot is great.  It can be disconcerting to some women who are used to a time limit.

It was good to have sex again.  I do like sex.  It's just that, I don't know.  Christy is nice but, well, I didn't have a lot of time to spend with her and when we did spend some time together she made it clear that she is looking for something that I can't or won't provide.  She had a deep seated emotional need and she tries to get other people to fulfill it.  She has everything all planned out and she is looking for someone to fit into that space she has cut out for her future partner or mate.

I think she must have targeted me as potential cookie cutter material.

We had an odd argument and she tried to put me on the defensive.  When I didn't fall for it she did not know what to do.  I suspected this trait early and when she presented it I thought, "Ok, there it is.  I understand now."

So she is not going to be my girlfriend.  I doubt we will spend anymore time together.  She needs someone and it is not me she needs.

She is interesting, though.  But then again, so is an abattoir.

Last week I went on vacation.  I went to the Bahamas.

I'll write about that tomorrow.

Jimmy
 

previous - next