2003-06-10 - 8:49 p.m.

Can You Fucking Believe It?

When I went to work this morning I figured it was my last day.   I mean, literally, I was planning to quit or be fired.  The company president has been heading toward this one position on this one issue that I have tried to avoid.  But he would not let it go.

I have been walking around the office depressed and moody.  He gave me a talk the other day and pretty much said that I need to take care of myself and make some decisions about whether I should continue working there or start looking elsewhere.

I just nodded and said some noncommittal statements.  Meanwhile I just could not think of how I was going to pay my bills when I quit my job.  I was fretting about money and trying to figure out what was the best thing to do.  And I was pretty sure if I had to decide whether I would stay there and be railroaded or walk away knowing I was right then I would decided to just walk away.

My horoscope said that something good would happen today.

We were supposed to have a meeting this morning, all the guys in my department and the president.  It was set for 8:15 a.m. and I was dreading it.  When the time came for the meeting I noticed that the president was nowhere to be found.  The time just ticked away and he wandered into our office and said that he guessed we didn't have time for a meeting now.

Whew.  Narrowly escaped that.

He called the other guys into his office during the day. But not me.  I had to leave early for a dental appointment.  Ten minutes before I was to go he called me into his office.  I came in and sat down.  He said he was going to make my day.  Then he explained to me that he was giving me a raise and a promotion.  The raise was pretty hefty, more than $5000 added to my annual salary.

I just started laughing.  He asked me what was funny and I told him that the day had turned in a way I had not expected.  He told me that he did not want to have to train anyone new, he wanted me to stay and he wants me to be happy now.  He said there is no reason for me to be unhappy.

I thanked him for the raise.  My promotion is just in name only.  I still do the same job, only more so.

What a weird day.  The funny thing is that I got the same amount of money I was going to ask for when I got a new job.  I pretty much got the cash I have wanted for a while.

Now what am I going to do?  Finding a new job has been hard.  Hmmm.

Am I just being manipulated?  Probably.  The president does not give anything without expecting three times as much in return.

Ben said to me today, "You worry too much."

I thought, "You have no fucking idea."

It is my nature to try to see five moves ahead.  But I didn't see this coming.

Jimmy
 

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