2003-04-26 - 11:04 p.m.

Kevin's Wedding

It seems like such a short time ago that Kevin told me he was going to buy a ring and ask Amy to marry him.  He described it as something that he was just going to check on and the next thing he knew everything worked out perfectly and he had a great engagement ring to give her.  He took her camping and proposed a few weeks later.  I was the only person he told his plan to.

Last summer there was an engagement party and all the months leading up to today were spent in careful preparation.  Kevin did not have much to prepare.  Amy and her mother handled the details, and her father handled paying for it, as is the custom in this country.

For the past few weeks Kevin has been stressing out at work.  Not because he was worried about his wedding, but because his job was taking up too much time.  There were times when he turned to us and said, "I don't have time for this.  I have to leave at 5:30 today.  I have a lot to do for the wedding."  We all told him to go ahead and leave.  And most of the time he did.

As I have mentioned in this dairy before, since he and Amy have been sharing an apartment together for about 6 months, they had both taken a vow of celibacy so that their wedding night would mean that much more to them.  I have to hand it to him.  I never thought he would be able to do it.  But he did. Mostly.  I think there have been a few times when he and Amy have "been in the ballpark" without "finishing the game."  If you know what I mean.  And I think you do.

So today was their wedding.  It started at 5 o'clock.  It was in an extremely beautiful church.  Everyone there was so relaxed. I sat with the guys from work.  The thing is that nowhere in the place was there any animosity or that feeling that one of them, the bride or the groom, was making a horrible mistake.  Kevin came out with his brother who was best man.  I have never met his brother before.  They look a lot alike.  One might say, "Duh! They're brothers." But I have a brother and we don't look much alike.  Kevin and his brother look a lot alike.

Kevin was smiling from ear to ear.  Not nervous at all.  Not hung over or anything like that.  He laughed and made quiet comments as his groomsmen came up the isle.   He became serious when the bridesmaids entered.  He smiled and nodded at me.  It was all I could do to keep from jumping up and screaming, "Kick ass, Kevin!"  I know he would have thought it was funny. But it would have ruined his wedding.  At one point he leaned over to the minister and asked him something.  We could not tell what he was saying but I interpreted it as, "Are you sure this is legally binding?"

I said this to Ben who was sitting next to me.  He started laughing so I decided to behave.

When the bride came down the isle, she was smiling and happy. Not nervous (or hung over either).  When Kevin made his vows to her she giggled the whole time.  They both looked like they were having the time of their lives.  The ceremony was cheerful, but respectful, and it moved right along. The music was beautifully played on a pipe organ (the church was Presbyterian so they had a nice organ).

There was a candle lighting for Kevin's mother.  That really got to everybody.  Kevin's mother died when he was a teenager.  He does not talk about her much, but I know it was pretty rough on him.  She had multiple sclerosis and had degenerated for a long time before she finally died in a nursing home.

Anyway, the ceremony really made me feel that there is such a thing as a sincere religious ceremony.  Kevin, who is an atheist, told us later that at last night's rehearsal dinner there was a terrible storm and lots of lightening which made him wonder if someone was trying to tell him something.  Then he told us that he has converted and is now a devout Christian.  I'm pretty sure he was kidding.

We all headed over to a country club for the reception.  There were about 200 people there.  I sat at a table with my coworkers.  It is really great to see them outside the office.  One of the guys who used to work with us was there.  I always like talking to him and his wife.

The food was incredibly great.  I ate and ate until I could eat no more. And then I had cake.  Let me tell you, normally I don't eat much at weddings.  It is not that hard to do because the food is usually pretty crappy.  You know, baked chicken, rice and a vegetable.  And also, weddings sort of make me lose my appetite.  Any formal event usually does.  But I when I started eating tonight I did not want to stop. Kevin and Amy are really picky about food and they choose the menu themselves, testing every item.

There was a lot of meat, Kevin's favorite.  When the bride and groom appeared they made their way through the room, then headed right for the food. They were both starving.  There was a lot of bad music and drunk people dancing.  For some reason I was the focus of flirting, anger and dependency during the night.  The line for the food came right by our table. One of the middle-aged women in line started talking to the guys and me and suddenly I was the only one answering her questions.  He husband told her the line was moving and she told him to shut up because she was busy flirting.

A conga line started a little later and I was pulled into it.  The line went around the room and I decided to get out of it when it came back to my table.  The woman behind me told me I could not leave it.  I told her I had to.  She said, "Looser!" and made a big letter "L" with her thumb and index finger.  I laughed my ass off because she was completely serious.

Later, a woman came to our table and asked if someone could help an old lady who needed to get back to the highway but did not know which way to go.  I volunteered to help.  I got in my truck and drove back to the highway so she could follow.  This woman was in her mid 80's, I'm guessing, and admitted that she has a horrible sense of direction.

When I got back about 20 minutes later everyone wanted to know where the hell I had been.  A while later I went to get wedding cake and as I was standing there another little old lady took a step backwards and tripped on the raised dance floor.  Another guy tried to grab her and I reached out for her arm, but we only managed to help her gently to the floor. She was a little flustered but said she was ok and did not seem hurt or embarrassed.

I got to talk to Kevin only for a few minutes.  He was, after all, very busy hosting his wedding party.  I just wanted to congratulate him.  Before I left I spoke to Amy and told her how great everything was.  And it really was.  She told me how much she appreciated my friendship with Kevin at work. I was really touched.  I know Kevin has a special regard for me.  And the feeling is mutual.  We understand each other.  Most of Kevin's friends are not like me.  They are all sports guys who drink.  Nice guys, but they don't show much depth around him.  And Kevin does have a very deep soul.

There is something to Amy as well.  She is just so natural and easy going.  She is also extremely beautiful and smart. They are good for each other.  It is very unlikely that they will ever be apart.  They have both picked very good lives.  I really hope they quit their jobs and move to Germany for a few years.  They think it would be fun to do while they are newly married and don't have kids.  This is a plan they have come up with, but it is a secret they are keeping from everyone.  I think I'm the only one he has talked to about it.

I think it's a great idea.  Why the hell not?  If they can get jobs in Germany and just live there for a while and then decide what to do next.  Now is the time to do it.  If I had the money I would give it to them and insist that they go.  Kevin's family is from Germany (a few generations back) and he has wanted to go for a long time.

I wish them both well.  What a great day for a wedding.  The whole thing just went like clockwork.  You know when little girls dream about their wedding day, this is what they must be seeing in their minds.

Speaking of what seeing in the mind, last night I had a lot of intense, vivid dreams.  One of the strangest parts of the dream was when I met a boy who had three birds.  One was a parakeet that he had encased in a triangular plexiglas box. The bird was alive.  It was just in a little box so it would not fly away.  The other two birds were big, colorful parrots.  But they weren't parrots, they had another name in my dream.  I think it was macaw.  They were very affectionate birds and I held one on my hand and it kissed me.  I kissed it back and whistled at it.  The bird said one word, "wonderful."

I wonder what it means.  I think I'll have to look it up in a dream dictionary on line.

Also, a long time ago I dream about being in my car, driving down a road and having to turn around in a church parking lot.  The parking lot had white marble parking space markers with airplanes engraved on them.  The marble was so white and clean. Every time I see that shade of brilliant white I remember that dream.  The church I went to today was that white.  It is built in the Greek revival style.   I parked across the street and walked over to it.

I also see that same gleaming white when I look into the sky and notice a jetliner flying past.  When the sun hits the white paint on the Delta jets it reminds me of my dream.

I wonder…

Jimmy
 

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