2003-02-20 - 10:15 p.m.

Jennifer Garner Nude

In an effort to create more google hits for my diary I am going to put in a few gratuitous words.  This was a suggestion from Joleen.  She was telling me today about some of the words readers search for that lead them to her diary.  So, in an effort to lead unsuspecting perverts to my diary I will simply say, anal fisting, vaginal laser rejuvenation, sex with sister-in-law, huge penis, and dripping wet teens.

There, that ought to create some interest.  Oh, and Jennifer Garner nude is just something I will probably be searching on google myself soon.  She is the beautiful actress I saw in the film Daredevil the other day.

Yeah.  So what a day.  I went to work so very tired. Lack of sleep, lots of work, talking, training, etc. all day long.  I was worn out.  I was getting nothing done. I had hit a wall.  I know when I hit the wall there is no use thinking at all.  I was talking to Joleen (she was feisty today!) and she said something to me and I asked her a question that she had basically just answered in the previous sentence.  I think she thought I was stupid, but my mind was shutting down.'

That was too bad because about an hour later the president of the company came into our office and told us that our new boss had been let go.  My new boss had been with our company for about a month.  The poor guy was at his last for 17 years.  He was a really nice, soft, non-confrontational man.  He just did not make the president happy.  So he was let go.  Probably he was relieved. I have no way of knowing.  He was gone and I will probably never see him again.

I feel just awful for him.  He just could not win.  He tried to please everyone and no one was happy.  He is the fourth boss I have had.  And guess what, they put the sales guy in charge of my department.

I just went numb.  The day could not have gotten worse.  The sales guy is the only one in my company I don't get along with.  He is a micro-manager with a temper.  He is a short guy who likes to throw his weight around.  He is not exactly honest but not exactly dishonest. He is a great sales man. I admit that.  He has basically turned our company around.  But he is an ass and I don't like him.

We all had a meeting with him later in the afternoon.  He talked non-stop for about an hour. He explained to us that nothing much was going to change, we had been working together for a while anyway.  My company is not going to hire a new boss.  They can't keep one anyway, so why bother.  He will hire another person for our department and then one of us will have to step forward and take charge and prove himself to be the team leader.

He was telling all four of us this, but I knew it was directed at me.  Kevin does not want to run our department, Ben does not want to run our department, and the new project specialist had open heart surgery about 5 months ago.  He has no idea what is going on in our company and is working hard to learn how to do his own vaguely defined job.  So that just leaves me.

All week long I have been forcing my now ex-boss to learn our company's system.  I have been pulling him away to show him things and teach him our product.  He seemed only mildly interested in learning it.  Overwhelmed is a better description.  I had been arranging my coworker's schedules and keeping everyone up to date on our progress.  So, in a way, I have already been "leading" the department.

But the sales guy said that they were going to be looking to see who steps up to the plate and takes charge.  That person will be promoted at some vaguely defined time to a vaguely defined position.  So I was thinking, "Oooooh.  Three of us are going to be voted off the island!" But I did not say that out loud.  I know they are talking about me, but they are not going to give me a promotion unless I express a strong interest in it.

This is where I am in trouble.  I am torn between wanting to just buckle down and go for it or just putting forth the minimal effort and continue looking for another job elsewhere. I really want to move on.  This is just more of the same.  I am 39 years old now and I don't want to spend all of my time in the office. I can't think straight right now.

I was going to take tomorrow off but now I can't.  All the work I was going to get done came to a halt in the afternoon.  The day was blown.  And, as I mentioned, I had hit the wall before I even got to work.

I'll think about it later.

Jimmy
 
 
 

previous - next